As it turns out, the heart is made to take more than our human brains can comprehend. You know the Bible verse "...lean not on your own understanding..." Proverbs 3:5? It happens to be true. Just like every verse before it and every verse after it.
There are certain moments in life that really put this truth right in front of you. Not just something you recite, but something you live. After all, isn't that what someone who professes to believe in God is supposed to do....live by these truths?
Several times over the last 4+ months since my mom was diagnosed with a ridiculously large brain tumor, this truth is the one that held me together. When your world is completely interrupted, completely turned upside down....what will your response be? I wish my response from day 1 would've been "I know this is your journey for my mom, God, your Will, your Way.....You have the best for her in store". Honestly, it wasn't. It is now and spiritually I am changed. I'll never be the same. Neither will she. Just yesterday she just told me, "I have no fear". This woman.....who had a tumor the size of a huge fist in her head removed, survived cardiac arrest and a raging infection in her brain told me, the girl that was still in tact, there is nothing to fear. This woman, who is still not home, since April 2nd she has been in some sort of hospital. Now she is in a facility that has a range of patients. From those that will live there forever to those, like her, that are there for rehabilitation purposes. When I think of how my life has changed, I quickly remind myself of her and my dad. She lives a simple existence now.....completely void of every single daily activity that she has known for her entire life. My dad, living alone for the first time in 50 years, waiting on his bride to come home. My struggles are nothing. Well, they are something to me and my little family, but in the grand scheme, I'm not the one actually fighting this battle.
That is where the truth lies. God has the ability to turn something completely wretched into something of complete beauty. There comes a point, during the crisis, that you have to realize that you, the human, can only do so much. Your job in the crisis isn't to fix things, the battle is being fought by the One that loves you more than you can comprehend. You either believe that or you don't. There is no in between. Your reaction to that truth will determine how you weather the storm. You can choose to receive the Peace that is so readily available or you can completely crumble because your efforts seem to fail at every turn. Believe me, your efforts will eventually fail. I quickly learned that the only thing I could do for my mom and dad was to pray for them and walk with them. This "walking alongside people in life" is a really big deal. If you love someone and they are struggling, your presence and prayer is of more worth than you can imagine....it is of eternal magnitude. I honestly believe that God has equipped my mom, dad, sisters and every person in our immediate family with every single thing we need to make it through whatever is put in front of us. There is so much power in that. In that truth there is no room for worry about the happenings of today.
My relationship with God is complex, at best. It is the sweetest thing in my world. Sometimes it is like I hear Him saying "what do you have to worry about, you loon?!".....the Sovereign Creator of the Universe probably wouldn't use those words, but the brain He gave me is one that puts everything in a situation where humor and sarcasm are tools. I'm almost sure He is funny.
What is your point, you may be asking? Never lose your peace. Even when your world seems to be in turmoil. Don't deny yourself that free gift. It is simply one prayer away. One simple acceptance. You don't have anything to lose by accepting God's peace, but you have everything to gain....this works against everything that your human mind will tell you is right. That is when you know you are on the right path, when what the world tells you just doesn't seem comfortable.
This is so true. Just give it to God. Hugs!
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