The eating portion of the "diet and exercise" is absolutely the hardest....I'm trying to remember if I have done a blog update and said the exact opposite, that exercise was the hardest...hehehe...I don't think I have, but it depends on the week.
Ok, they are both hard....but I'm addicted to food...so the food part is the hardest for me, by far.
I have been researching common foods that I used to eat and I'm going to be honest with you...it is abslutely depressing that the food available to us at restaurants and fast food chains is so horrible. Not ALL food is horrible if you are eating out, but I will venture to say that 90% of it is, unless that restaurant has a "light" menu. McDonald's has even managed to screw up oatmeal, one of the healthiest things on the planet. Their new fruit and maple oatmeal has as much sugar as a Snickers bar...seriously, I'm not joking. Only 10 calories less than a McD's cheeseburger. You may be asking "what in the heck did they do to the oatmeal to make it unusually unhealthy?".....they add tons of brown sugar and cream. A serving of Quaker brown sugar and maple oatmeal is 160 calories...as opposed to 290 in McDonald's new offer. Don't get me wrong, I still love a quarter pounder with cheese more than just about anything, but something is going on in my head and my brain will not allow me to eat like that any longer....not to say I won't ever eat one again, I am sure I will, but I used to have them WEEKLY. I honestly don't know how I'm not more fat than I am.
A lot of people get ticked at the fast food industry...saying they are "tricking" us into thinking we are eating healthier. That is complete BS. We should know what we are eating...nutritional information is a click away for any restaurant on the planet...it is our responsibility to know. In a way it does sort of tick me off that the grilled ceasar wrap at Chik-Fil-A has more calories than their classic Chicken sandwich...it makes no sense...well, it does make sense, its all about the dressing, but still...in most minds a thin wrap filled with lettuce and grilled chicken can't possibly have more calories than a fried chicken sandwhich....well, yes it does.
I still have moments where I get absolutely pissed about food. Last Friday as I was driving home to Alabama I had one of these moments. When we travel to my parent's house it used to be our "tradition" to stop by McDonald's and get food on the road....and sometimes after the nearly three hour trip, we'd eat again when we got to my mom's house...I know, sick. Anyway...before I even got out of our subdivision I was already thinking of McDonald's....already having the conversation with myself..."maybe I will stop and just get a small cheeseburger and maybe some fries...just this one last time"....it took every single amount of strength I had to pass by that McDonald's, not only one of them, but the three of them that are on our route to I-20. I was literally pissed...I was pissed because I could remember the exact taste of the food and I missed it. This was a huge victory for me. I arrived at my parent's house where my mom had prepared baked BBQ chicken and vegetables. I was satisfied and soon enough the frustration over the quarter pounder of cheese that never was, faded.
I have said it before and I have to say it again...this entire thinking process about food is so foreign to me...it is SO weird to me to not immediately just run to the nearest fast food place for lunch, even when I forgot my stuff at home...now my initial reaction is to find the nearest Subway or grocery store. Last week I was working in Cumming, GA and this small Mayberry type of town didn't have a Subway...I drove for miles looking for a grocery store, finally found an Ingles and found a healthy lunch. I know I am making these decisions each day, but it is almost like my mind changed over night.
I have been waiting on my mind to change for so long....prayed endlessly for the strength to think differently and it has finally happened. There are SO many emotions wrapped up into this, but I'm working through all of them as they come...it literally excites me sometimes when I think about the idea that this is
my year....I know it is....it scares the crap out of me becuase I was obviously comfortable being fat, but I'm getting out of my comfort zone and literally stepping into a new body with each pound I lose. It will take all of 2011 and maybe even some of 2012 to reach my final goal, but I'm on my way.
:-)
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