Life. Something we live every single day. People say it is hard....or good....or beautiful, but what do we do when life throws a curve ball? An unexpected jolt that lands you in a place that looks like a spiritual desert. Usually, you would turn to those people in your life that lift you up, those people who speak God's promises to you.....the ones that have ALWAYS been there.
What if that life jolt has made that person, your "go to" up-lifter, silent? Literally silent. A twist in the plot that nobody expected.
With my mom's current situation, I think that is my hardest struggle. She is silent. She was once so loud. Not necessarily volume loud, but in my life, faithfully speaking, she was so loud. Almost every conversation we had was about our faith. The beauty of it....the majesty of it. Then, abruptly, totally silent....a mumble here and there, but the conversations are gone, for now.
So....I found myself squirming. This doesn't feel normal. This isn't natural. It looks as though as me and my "person" are switching positions. Am I ready? Am I ready to speak uplifting words in a situation that on so many levels looks wretched?
In the last (almost) five months I have learned a lot about me. I am strong. I may have a tender heart, but that heart has a core of steel. One rooted in the most beautiful promises. Everyone copes with life differently, but I have learned that my go-to spot is one of peace. I can't live in crisis mode and live effectively.....worry literally makes me feel dirty...it is just true....my hope and worry can't live in the same space. So, worry might make an appearance, but it doesn't stay for long. The hope I have shines brighter than any worry I have ever encountered.
My best tools, my first aid kit for life, are the promises that God has given me through the one that is now silent. Along with my dad, she is the one that has loved me the longest. They have prayed for me without fail for 35 years. It is my turn to lift them up. Remind them of the One that loves them so much.
What a journey. One that will leave my family changed forever. There is true beauty in embracing the assignment and peacefully allowing God to do His work. Peacefully. Peace. Never, ever, lose it, because if you have lost peace......you have truly lost. A victorious outcome is what is on the horizon. What that looks like, I have no idea....but I know it will be triumphant. God's peace and love always win. Always.
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